Hmn… not feeling really good nowadays! and here\’s my revelation for this certain phase in my life: My toddler was not with me. I have no choice but to bring him to my parents while I am in search for a new yaya to take care of him… his \’ate\’ decided to left us to continue her studies. And what else can I do but to let her go wishing goodluck to her plans. My heart was not with me and I wasn\’t functioning very well… gotta stop this drama and start collecting every piece of me again…
Its barely a month since I last posted an entry for this blog, I can\’t seem to figure out at first what\’s mainly the reason, was it time prob? got black out? just being lazy? but I guess I just have had my share of being mindful over things– lots of thinking that I ended up having 5 posts with just a single line each that goes directly to my \”draft\” posts.
Now, let me recall how my Mommy Tots was born, \’twas one of my graveyard shifts that makes me find a reason to be awake while waiting for any call for help from our system\’s end-users. I admit I am no good when it comes to writing, but what the heck?! Whenever I feels like it, I write my story…yes, I blog about my life especially about my motherhood journey expressing my great joy of having this huge blessing.
When I was in sixth grade, I am an editor in literature in our school paper and a school representative for a Seminar in Essay Writing joining Muntapat (Muntinlupa, Taguig, Pateros) Division Contest the next day. I can still remember how I felt during that one big day, I was terrible, feeling nervous and down, thinking I am nothing compared to my competitors. Lots of thinking that ends up- talking to the one next to me giving her sample situations regarding our subject. Yay! luckily she won the 2nd spot for our category, and as I expected -I made no name and doesn\’t bring home any recognition. Well, I can clearly state that lots of thinking doesn\’t do me any good at all. It shatters me into pieces making me not my own self and exists blankly against anything. I hate having \’these\’ days of my life! I know sooner i\’ll be back again in my feet psyching my self-up that I shouldn\’t think that I am beaten with my personal life issues because its mainly true that if I think that I am beaten, then truly– I was.